Trauma, ADHD, and AuDHD: Why a Trauma-Focused Therapy Approach Matters

Many people come to therapy knowing something isn’t working — but they’re not always sure why.

They may have an ADHD diagnosis, suspect they’re autistic, or identify with traits of both (often called AuDHD). They’re thoughtful, self-aware, and have often done a lot of reading or self-work already. And yet, despite trying productivity systems, coping tools, or even therapy before, they still feel stuck.

If this sounds familiar, it’s often because trauma and nervous system patterns haven’t been fully accounted for.

When ADHD Isn’t “Just ADHD”

Traditional ADHD frameworks tend to focus on:

• Executive functioning

• Time management

• Motivation and follow-through

• Behavioural strategies and structure

While these tools can be helpful, they don’t always work — especially for people with a history of developmental trauma, attachment wounds, chronic stress, or emotional neglect.

Trauma can shape attention, memory, emotional regulation, and energy in ways that look like ADHD — or significantly intensify it. For some people, what’s labelled as “procrastination” or “avoidance” is actually a protective nervous system response, not a lack of effort or willpower.

This is particularly true for people who:

• Grew up needing to stay hypervigilant or emotionally attuned to others

• Learned to suppress their needs to stay safe or connected

• Experience shame around productivity, consistency, or “falling behind”

• Feel overwhelmed, frozen, or flooded rather than simply distracted

Trauma, ADHD, and AuDHD Often Overlap

For clients who identify as ADHD, autistic, or AuDHD, therapy needs to be neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed.

Many neurodivergent people have experienced:

• Chronic misunderstanding or misattunement

• Repeated relational ruptures

• Pressure to mask, perform, or override their natural rhythms

• Internalized shame around sensitivity, intensity, or difference

A trauma-informed or focused approach recognizes that:

• Your nervous system learned these patterns for a reason

• Struggles with focus, organization, or motivation are not moral failings

• Healing often requires safety, attunement, and relational repair — not more strategies

How My Approach Is Different

My work sits at the intersection of trauma therapy, ADHD/AuDHD support, and relational psychodynamic therapy.

Rather than jumping straight into tools or techniques, we pay attention to:

• Your nervous system and stress responses

• Attachment patterns and relational dynamics

• How past experiences shape present-day coping

• The meaning behind symptoms, not just how to manage them

I also incorporate psychoeducation about the brain and nervous system to help normalize your experiences and reduce self-blame. Many clients find relief simply in understanding why their system responds the way it does.

Why We Focus on Stabilization First

Some clients arrive having had difficult or disappointing experiences in therapy where trauma work began before they felt ready or resourced, or skills were tried but don't stick because the nervous system isn't ready. When the nervous system doesn’t yet have enough capacity, diving into trauma or trying to learn new skills can lead to increased anxiety, dysregulation, or a sense of unraveling between sessions.

My approach emphasizes stabilization first — supporting regulation, safety, and trust — so that when trauma is explored, it happens in a way that feels contained, collaborative, and respectful of your limits.

Therapy is collaborative and relational — not about “fixing” you, but about understanding yourself more deeply and creating change that feels sustainable rather than forced.

Therapy as a Place to Unlearn Shame

Many people with trauma and ADHD/AuDHD carry a deep sense of:

• “I should be doing better by now”

• “Other people seem to manage this more easily”

• “I know what I need to do — I just can’t do it”

In therapy, we slow this down.

Instead of pushing harder, we explore what your system actually needs in order to feel safer, more regulated, and more resourced. Over time, this often leads to improved clarity, capacity, and self-trust — not through pressure, but through understanding.

Finding the Right Fit Matters

I believe strongly that therapy works best when it feels like a good fit.

That’s why I offer free consultation calls — not as a sales pitch, but as a chance for you to:

• Ask questions

• Get a sense of my style and approach

• Decide whether this feels right for you

I also encourage clients to speak with other therapists if needed. Finding someone who understands both trauma and neurodiversity, and who you feel comfortable with, is far more important than choosing quickly.

Curious if This Approach Might Help?

If you’re navigating trauma alongside ADHD or AuDHD — or if you’ve tried therapy or strategies before and felt something was missing — you’re welcome to reach out.

I offer virtual trauma-informed therapy in Toronto and across Ontario, and I’m happy to help you explore whether working together makes sense.

👉 You can book a free consultation here https://integrationtherapy.janeapp.com

A man attentively listens during a therapeutic session, engaged in a meaningful conversation.